my horoscope for march 25, 2003:

"The calm after the storm has finally arrived, Taurus, so enjoy it while it lasts! There will be no arguments. Everyone loves you, or is at least willing to give you another chance. Use this time to smooth things over with a mate or friend with whom you haven't been getting along lately. This is also a good time to make purchases, as financial issues are more likely to be resolved in your favor. Try not to ask why, but why not!"

let's hope it comes true...i went to see the couselor today...her name is jane...i really don't feel any different than before i went...she just mostly let me talk and cry the whole hour i was there...she was entirely too sympathetic though...i really don't want or need anyone's sympathy...i told her about the cutting...and about g. and danny...but not everything about danny...just a little bit...she told me that i have been through a lot for as young as i am...i took rob this morning to get his new car...he was so excited...he told me that the guy who own the car was asking about me...ew...i was looking like total shit...i had a baseball cap on backwards and a tee shirt and jeans...i mean i looked like total ass...oh well...some guys like white trash...when got to work today i saw that lucy's truck was parked in one of the visitors' spaces, so i knew that something had to have happened to her grandson...i got inside and vic was standing in the lobby outside human resources...he told me that she got the call as she pulled into the work parking lot...i stepped outside, and when i came back in i sawe her hugging leonard...then she saw me and totally ditched him and literally ran into my arms...she was squeezing me so tight that i couldn't breathe...i felt so terrible that i had tears in my eyes when she finally let go...then i turned around and saw vilma standing in the doorway crying...she walked out before i could do anything to comfort her...i couldn't imagine losing a child like that...the poor baby didn't even have a chance to live...lucy and vilma were so devastated...and it hurts me to think of how they are feeling...willie and i are putting some money together to order flowers tomorrow...even though i feel so horrible for lucy and vilma and their family, it felt good to have lucy come to me like that...later on at work, willie was on the phone with g. and i told willie to tell him that i said he's a snob...g. replied with "whatever"...then willie told me that he said for me to kiss his ass...so i was kissing the air just being stupid, but g. told willie to tell me that he didn't say that...why would he care what i thought he said if he didn't give a damn about me? it doesn't make sense...oh well...hopefully i'll have a chance to talk to him tomorrow...i also got to talk to anna tonight and she told me that she was at peabody's saturday night and that nick was there...that is so funny because carla and i were there too, but none of us saw each other...i had a feeling that nick would be there, and i kept looking around for him, but i didn't see him anywhere...weird...i talked to george after anna and he told me that he's going to tell jack about me to try and get me onto third shift...it will be awesome if i can finally go back to school and still work there...hopefully that will work out too...ok...it's time for bed...i've been awake since 7:30 am with only 5 hours of sleep...good night <3