i'm so sick of being nice and caring about people's feelings...i'm trying to be nice to this guy who keeps calling me...here's the story:

he had someone give me a note at work last week asking for my number...i didn't reply because i didn't want to hurt his feelings...then sunday i got a text message "hello kelly"...i didn't recognize the number, so i called it...i got someone's voice mail...it was a guy with a very heavy filipino accent...i didn't leave a message...i got another message..."sorry 4 disturbing u"...then another "u still awake?"...then they stopped...i went to work monday and no one recognized the number...then when i left work, i stopped by preproduction to talk to george and anna and the person called...he wouldn't tell me who it was...then he hung up...i called back when i was on my way home and finally found out who it was...the guy i didn't want to give my number to...he's a really nice guy, but we don't have much in common...he's 30 and has 2 kids...i'm not mommy material and i'm not wifey material...certainly not what he's looking for...anyway, i told him that it is fine that he called...and i found out that he got my number from ashley, the girl i work and bowl with...but how the hell did she get my number? i'm going to ask her tomorrow...so...i talked to the guy monday night, then i talked to him tuesday night...then i got a text message early wednesday morning "my heart says, 'i love you!'"...eeeek!! i'm thinking that i picked up a psycho here...so i talked to him wednesday night...he told me that he is madly in love with me...uhhhh...the first time the guy even spoke to me was on monday!! now he keeps telling me that he loves me and he won't stop calling!! i don't want to be mean because i already made him cry once when i told him that i didn't have time for a relationship...now he leaves me messages saying that he misses me and that he loves me...i think it's time to be straight with this guy...and hopefully it will get through his head that i don't want to be with him...

as for the rest of my life...i went with willie to baby jaylon's funeral this morning...it had to be one of the worst things i have ever had to do in my life...i couldn't go up to the casket or even look at the family...when lucy saw me, i had deja vu from monday when she broke down in my arms...it was the same exact scene all over again...the worst part was when kimberly, the mother, kneeled if front of the tiny casket and was just sobbing...then lucy looked at the baby and ran out of the room screaming...it took about 5 people to get her to calm down...i feel so bad because i left without saying anything to kimberly or lucy, but i felt that if i tried to speak, no words would come out...so i just kind of hid in the back of the crowd...but like willie said, lucy knows that i was there...and that's all that matters...

as for work...i will be moved to third shift starting on april 6...the hours are from 11pm until 7am...i should be able to pick up a second job in the evenings...i start training on second shift on monday for my new station...it's going to drive g. nuts because i will be working right outside his lab...oh, sweet revenge...

on the g. front...hehe...things are looking the same...not better, but no worse...i saw him yesterday at the work store and he said hi to me, but we didn't talk...then today when i went out to lunch with willie, i brought him up in the conversation...i told willie that i don't know if he ignores me because he hates me that much, or if it's the opposite...willie said that he knows that g. doesn't dislike me one bit...and the also said that g. was genuinely interested when willie told him about me seeing a couselor...i'm still clinging to that last shred of hope...

good nite <3