when i was born someone must have tattooed "fuck me" on my forehead for the world to see...it's ink that only the outside can see, thats why i can't understand why these things happen to me...i feel like a hamster on a wheel...i keep running and running, yet i get nowhere...i have so much hatred in me right now that i'm actually afraid to speak to anyone...big salty tears of rage and hurt are flowing steadily down my cheeks...clyde told me he was going to myrtle beach last night...he was supposed to leave at six when he got off work...and he was going to text me when he got there...so at three i got worried...it's only a seven hour drive...i texted him...he responded an hour later saying he wasn't there yet...i asked if he was okay...he responded with a simple yes...i asked why he was one wording me...he said because he was driving...i wrote back saying for him to text me when he got there and to be careful...i had a suspicion that he wasn't going to myrtle beach...at six i called his house from will's cell phone (i was at work)...someone picked up the phone, but dropped it, and then hung it up...by then i was getting pissed off...he texted me right after saying he was in myrtle beach...hmmm...would this be because i woke him up?? i believe so...by then i was in ass-kicking mode...i hauled ass to my car as the buzzer rang and got to his house in record time...well, well, well...clyde's car is in the parking lot...i knock on the door...no answer...i knock louder...no answer....i start pounding my fist on the door...no answer...i call...i hear the phone ringing inside...no answer...so i keep pressing send on my cell phone until he comes to the door...comes to the door SMILING!!!!...i'm like what the fuck?? did i miss something?? all i said was "busted"...his reply was something along the lines of not having to explain himself to me...i told him i wanted my cd and i never want to see him again...we walked to the parking lot...then he goes on about how it's a complicated situation and i wouldn't understand...that he promised her that she could go to myrtle beach with him...i lost it then...i started screaming about how he shouldn't have lied and that no excuse is good enough...his reply...a clever "i really do like you"...ummmm....sure...like i believe that...i just got in my car and left...then i called him...i told him to ask me again why i prefer to be single...he said he didn't want to ask me...then he said that he wanted to explain to me, but not when i'm mad...i told him that if he doesn't explain right then that he'll never talk to me again...he said that the girl is from new york and that she the mother of his unborn child...he didn't elaborate...i just told him i don't give a fuck because it was in the past...but his mom wants to meet her...WHY???? it makes no sense to bring up something that is painful like that...it's stupid...but whatever...maybe his family is freaky like that...all i know is i got fucked once again...finally after a year, i allowed myself to give someone a chance...and i got fucked...i give up...
"but a promise is a comfort to a fool" ~sean paul