i can still remember the first time i inflicted pain on myself...i was young...probably about six or seven years old...my parents were fighting on the phone...my dad hadn't payed the child support for that month and my mom was short on money, so she called him...well, made me call him...and he wouldn't give me an answer about the money, so she got on the phone...i crawled into bed as she began screaming at him...i despised myself at that moment...i blamed myself for causing the argument...i should have never been born...as the screaming got louder, i got more upset and i tore my fingernails repeatedly accross my body and face...when i woke in the morning i had blood crusted under my nails and dried on my face and tiny body...when my mom questioned me about what happened i just said that i didn't know...she didn't push the subject and i'm sure it's been long forgotten by her...but the worthlessness i felt that night will haunt me forever...